Worus

I have two essays due this week. One in English (due Tuesday) and one in French (due Thursday).

My English essay is a summary of this eight page essay I had to read. We got to choose between three essays. I had some problems with the other essay I read, and the final one was twenty pages long. We’re supposed to summarize in approximately three-hundred words. This is proving very, very difficult. The essay I’m summarizing has a very fluid style to is so it’s hard to tell exactly when the focus is shifting. Furthermore, my thesis is fourty-one words long alone! I’m hoping that the instructor is actually expecting something more brief than what I’m going to submit because it’s going to be a major challenge to make this essay short enough.

I’ve never had the problem of having too much to say for an English assignment. Usually there is either no limit and I can go over the norm freely, or I have trouble just reaching the norm. This rather constricting requirement is educational and annoying at the same time.

The French essay isn’t supposed to be written in French. Just in plain old English, thank God. I know a little French, but definately not enough to write in depth about French cinema.

I went out to dinner with Dean tonight. Since I didn’t get to do anything with anyone on Friday night and I worked on Saturday, I felt obligated to do something this weekend. After all, I was snowed-in on my last day of freedom (Friday). We had a good time. Just ate some fast food and picked up a movie for him and his roommate. I came out to him, too. Things are better between us now (not that they were bad before).

I’ve been considering signing up to work at the gift balloon table at work the weekend after next. I can’t seem to quite put myself to do it because the other job associated with it is making flower arrangements. I don’t have a problem with making floral arrangments, really. Yet I can’t put myself to go through with it anyway. It’s sort of a “what people think” issue, but the truth is that, for the most part, I don’t care what people think and I know that they wouldn’t think negatively about me for it in the least. The only reason I bring this topic up is because it bothers me that I have these sorts of reservations. I have no idea why, either. Some might pass it off as human, but I would contend that it’s human to exist, and not to worry about others’ perceptions of you.

This is the question asked by the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion. Sometimes I wonder just how much I do seek my own value in the perceptions of others. I know that I do it to an extent, and I think everyone does. This isn’t to say that it’s correct to do so, but rather to say that I’m not alone. I like to think that I don’t do it too much. I don’t usually notice myself thinking, “What will these people think of me as a person if I do what I want to?” More correctly I find myself asking, “What will these people think of me if I do something that I find morally wrong?” I feel that that is a different issue because I’m living up to my own standards instead of others’.

Enough rant, I have to get up early tomorrow.

I got my first Good Job pin at work today. It took me almost two years to get one. It’s really strange because I do a lot of the stuff people get those pins for and I also miss out when I’m supposed to be getting them. Like the time that Bridgette felt like she was being a bitch so she gave everyone on her side one. I was on a fifteen minute break. For the uninformed, Good Job pins are given out when you go above the call of your job, do someone else’s job for them or just do something nice in general. Either three or four Good Job pins can be turned in for gift certificates or a share of stock (I forget, since I’ve never had to worry about it). This one was from Kim because I helped out in claims for a couple of nights.

In case you hadn’t figured it out, today was the day I went back to work again. It’s sad because now I’ll have no life, but I could use the money. In the break room today Jennie said that she would hurt someone if she knew that they were gay. Now most of the time I can just forget about that sort of comment, but today I got genuinely hurt. Reason being, Jennie and I are pretty good friends. We hang out at work and like talk forever (or when one of us isn’t working), take breaks together, do the whole secret swapping thing, she tells me all about these guys that she wants to hookup with and everything. I think because something like that came out of her mouth it actually made the comment sting. Oh well, I’ll be over it sometime soon, I guess.

Until today, I didn’t know that the Superbowl was tomorrow. My little brother is the biggest football fan and I had no clue. I’m not sure if that shows how much time I spend with my family or how little I let sports effect my life.

Anywho, since I got up and went directly to work, that’s been the majority of what’s happened / gone through my head since I last wrote.